Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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