I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
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