You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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