Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
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