My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Randomize
