please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
Randomize
