first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Randomize
