the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
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