My hair reeks of homosexuality.
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
