I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
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