Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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