I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
Randomize
