I feel like abortions should bother me more
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
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