I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
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