Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
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