Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Randomize
