tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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