i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
Randomize
