Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
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