Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
Randomize