I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
Randomize
