Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
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