So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Randomize
