the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
