He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
Randomize
