At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
I left my keys in the garlic bread freezer in Publix.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
I see more hoeing in ur future
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