No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize
