I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
Randomize
