I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
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