he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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