I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
I understand Curling. That high.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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