Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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