You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
Randomize
