I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
I see more hoeing in ur future
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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