I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Randomize
