nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Randomize