I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
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