"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
