you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
A+ Viking dick
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
Randomize