I CAN MOONWALK!
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
I said "one day" and that day is not today
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize