I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
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Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
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Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
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