Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
Randomize
