thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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