just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Randomize