I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
it's great music for shaving your balls
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize