if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
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