you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
Randomize
