so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
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