just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
well I can't set my house on fire every night
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
When I'm drunk i like to pretend my penis is zeus and instead of peeing i'm throwing lightning bolts into the toilet...it helps me focus.
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
