you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize