I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
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