I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Randomize
