I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
Randomize
