Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Randomize
