I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
Randomize
