I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
