I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
Randomize
