i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Randomize
