I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize
